An Exercise In Missing The Point

Recently, I got visitors. I could see them through the window as they were walking up my driveway, and my heart sank a little. Their clothes and their posture were giving me an uneasy presentiment. I sighed and asked my poor husband if it could be his turn. I didn’t even ask afterwards whether they managed to convert him or not.

Most of us know this feeling – the annoying and unnerving feeling of knowing we’re about to be persuaded, convinced, sold, something. It puts up barriers so strong in most of us, it is a wonder any of these tactics ever bear any fruit. Or we should say, no wonder the fruit it does bear is hardly ever good fruit.

Why did I not want to talk to my visitors? After all, I am extremely interested in all things related to God, and in some parts the salespeople at the door and I are even talking about a similar, positive experience that has reshaped our lives. But after having talked to door visitors from various religious groups in the past, I have noticed something. It isn’t that there wouldn’t be opportunities for great conversations with them, since both of us are engaged with the topic and personally involved. We could, technically, talk about what we experienced, how it influenced our lives and how thankful we are for that experience. It could be a fully positive interaction that might leave both of us with added gems of wisdom.

Unfortunately, the reality looks quite different. What you might have noticed if you’ve ever engaged with religious salespeople at your door, is that they are specifically trained not to ask questions – or only questions that will aid them in then giving their prescript answers. The last thing a recruiter is usually interested in is your view of God or spiritual matters. They will ask just enough to find out which persuasive tactic will be most likely to succeed.

Before the reader thinks that I’m going on a rant against certain religious groups, let me assure you that large segments of Christianity, from charismatic to mainstream, have been using the same tactics minus the doorbell. The practical approach might be different, but the mindset behind it is the same: “We’ve got the truth, and we wish you would cooperate so we can show it to you. Of course we do want to know where you’re coming from  – your hurts, disappointments, notions of God and Christianity – but only so we can tell you exactly where you’re wrong and how you need to change your views to find Jesus. Your story is not relevant other than in context of your impending conversion.”

This is the real problem with evangelism, and the reason why most efforts taken under this name are mainly a massive exercise in missing the point.

But here’s a new thought. What if I approached a conversation with a co-worker, a friend, a relative with two simple goals: finding out what they really think, and hoping that I can glean something from them. When is the last time I have approached a conversation this way? This obviously holds true for any topic, from politics to parenting to relationships, but when it comes to God, it is exceptionally important. And exceptionally difficult.

The tension we find ourselves in is that most of us believe we have found The Truth (to whatever extent), and that we are commanded by Jesus himself to go and make disciples of all nations. This command in itself bears a huge danger for colonialist misinterpretation, but that’s another topic. But even on a local scale, we feel like we are given a task and we are responsible to carry it out somehow.

At the same time, the message we are called to share resists, in its very nature, any form of coercion, pressure, coaxing or fear. We desperately want people to follow Jesus, but we know we can’t force them. We want to sell them the best there is, but we know Jesus is not for sale. We feel like they must find God, yet God never pushes Himself on anybody.

How do we deal with this tension (which many Christians aren’t even aware of)? It depends on the kind of theology we adhere to. If we think that saving people from hell is more important than the way this goal is achieved, then we evangelize with fear and guilt, like generations before us. It is most “successful” with people prone to fear and guilt, and it will produce in them exactly, and exclusively, that very thing.

If we have moved past the fear stage, we might want to “win them over” by convincing them of what they’ve missed so far. And since we know we need to be relevant in today’s age, these messages often come in culturally relevant forms. Concerts, drama, sports events, free food or movies, and any other bait the organizers can think of. We invite people to wonderful events that are fun, entertaining and, most of all, free. And I get it – it’s how our world works – but there is the slight problem that what we end up giving hardly resembles what we actually wanted to give in the first place. While these efforts are often a great way to bring different people together, it also smacks of consumerism and sets many people up for a self-serving kind of faith. If I’m selling a fun, entertaining and convenient Christianity, I don’t need to wonder if my protégés are exhausted, disillusioned and “disappointed by the church”a few years down the road.

As I have said before, the message of Jesus has always challenged, not lined up with, the prevalent mindset of any given age. Jesus’ message was that of a rebel. He gave his life for the hurting, the poor, and those taken advantage of. He served, he loved, he gave. And in all of this, he was the happiest man that has ever walked this planet – and he invites us to do the same thing.

Unless something in our hearts is stirred by this invitation – however nervous it makes us, however much we realize that our ego will fight this stirring -, we are following a lead that gets us nowhere. We cannot “fulfill our duty” toward Jesus, nor can we join a trend.

It is only that yearning in our souls, that desire to live exactly opposite to what the world thinks will make us successful, rich, and happy, that will in the end lead us to the mystery that is called following Christ.